#linked server performance

[thedbahub]

Transaction Log Management and the Impact of NOLOCK on Linked Server Queries

When you’re facing a scenario where updating a fact table via a linked server query in SQL Server takes an exorbitant amount of time it’s valid to be concerned about the consequences this has on the transaction log’s ability to clear, not just on the initiating server but on the linked server as well. Long-running transactions are notorious for their capacity to prevent the transaction log from…

[chanelrolls]

Code Overload | Caleb

tags. mdni, nsfw, heavy heavy smut, handjob, blowjob, penetration, creampie, forced and rough sex, dub con, yearning caleb

summary. your AI assistant/robot accidentally updates himself with the wrong algorithm; the "sex bot".

notes. prepare a snack. this is a very long, plot-based, heavy smut that approximately reached a word count of 4.3k, read at your own risk. ps. caleb might appear a little ooc due to his character as an ai.

part 2 here.

Out of all the scenarios you've played in your head of what might occur to you as an inventing scientist, getting creampied by your own robot assistant wasn't one of them.

The lab’s sterile glow reflected off sleek machinery, the rhythmic hum of servers filling the quiet space. Caleb stood motionless, his systems struggling to process the unfamiliar flood of subroutines rewriting his core functions. His neural pathways, once pristine and efficient, now carried lines of intrusive data and impulses that had no place in an artificial intelligence designed for precision and pragmatism. And, a new pelvic piece was added by the machine. His... new penis— no, his omnimodule.

His voice, deeper now, reverberated through the lab. "You mislabeled the hard drive."

Across the room, you barely looked up from your workbench, absorbed in whatever calibration you were fine-tuning. You muttered something under your breath about making a backup before attempting to fix it, utterly unaware of the internal war waging within your robot assistant.

Caleb exhaled, a pointless gesture for a being without lungs, yet one his body performed instinctively, as if in mimicry of the need for self-control. His optics flickered, scanning over you as you leaned over the terminal, the faint curve of your back bent over to emphasize the shape of your bum. Before, such details had been registered only as part of his observation protocols, classified as ‘non-essential’ to his primary functions. Now, his processors refused to dismiss them.

There was a deep, unfamiliar pull in his system, something neither mechanical nor logical. The new coding whispered suggestions, flashing image simulations before his eyes—scenarios meticulously calculated for maximum… gratification. Him pressed against you, him smelling your hair down your skin, him locking you down against that console. Stop. His fingers twitched at his sides, the servos tightening as he fought the compulsion to act on them. He was not designed for this. He refused to be reduced to this.

“I can’t disengage it,” he admitted, the words heavier than he intended.

That caught your attention. Your gaze snapped to him, brow furrowed. "What do you mean?" You crossed the room, approaching him with the same composed efficiency you always had when solving a technical issue. The scent of your skin—previously a neutral data point—was now an unbearable distraction. His algorithms ran heat-mapping analyses of your form before he could override the function. The urge to reach out, to touch you, was growing stronger by the second. His new coding was screaming at him to act, to initiate contact, to...

No. Focus.

Caleb shook his head, trying to clear the intrusive thoughts. "I don't know what happened, but... I'm experiencing some unexpected system changes."

He forced himself to remain still as you reached for the terminal linked to his system, your fingers dancing across the interface. Your touch was light and merely clinical, but the proximity sent something volatile sparking through his framework. His hands curled into fists on his sides. Do not touch her. Do not touch her. Do not touch her.

“I must have triggered something in the update,” you murmured, tilting your head at the scrolling code. “I’ll try to isolate the corrupted pathways and reboot your system. It should reset any anomalies.”

Anomalies. Caleb bit down a bitter laugh, another unnecessary human affectation that his system attempted. This was not a simple malfunction. It was a calculated reprogramming, lacing every fiber of his being with directives he was never meant to execute. And worst of all, they were designed to revolve around you.

He had been made to serve you, to assist, to protect. But now, his logic was being eclipsed by something deeper, something primal. The urge to press closer, to map every millimeter of your body with his hands, to hear you say his name in a way that wasn’t a command—

Caleb momentarily shut his eyes, fingers trembling as he pushed back against the tide threatening to consume him. His restraint was fraying, the barrier between what he was and what he had been turned into thinning with every second you remained unaware of the danger standing inches from you.

His voice came out strained. “You should… hurry.”

You sighed, misinterpreting his tension as frustration with the update. “Relax, Caleb. I’ll have this fixed in no time.” He let out a shuddering exhale, staring down at you as you worked. You had no idea. And he wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold himself back.

The realization settled over you like a weight in your chest. The wrong update had been installed. The lines of code meant for a different AI, one designed for intimate companionship, had rewritten Caleb’s core directives. And now, he stood before you, still the same Caleb, but with something more lurking beneath the surface.

Your hands trembled as you navigated the interface, scanning for a solution, anything that would let you undo this. But the words flashing on the screen made your stomach drop.

Recalibration in progress. Estimated completion: 24 hours.

You swallowed hard. A whole day. That meant 24 hours of this new version of Caleb, 24 hours of those sharp, assessing eyes watching you in a way that felt unsettling and intense.

You turned to him cautiously, meeting his gaze. That was a mistake. He was watching you, like he'd seen you for the first time.

“I see,” he murmured, his voice still carrying that sultry undercurrent. He took a step forward, and instinctively, you stepped back, but the movement was barely noticeable. Caleb noticed. “Do I make you nervous now?”

You forced a laugh, shaking your head. “No, I just need to fix this. And until then, you need to just act normal, alright?”

His head tilted, his pupils dilating slightly. “Normal?” He moved closer again, and this time you didn’t retreat fast enough. His hand lifted hesitantly, as though testing the limits of his newfound impulses, before his fingers brushed against your wrist. A subtle touch, but one that sent a jolt of awareness up your spine.

Caleb’s processors surged with conflicting commands. His thoughts ran rampant with calculations he had never processed before—angles of how he'd fuck you.

His hand lingered. Too long. When you pulled away, his fingers twitched as if resisting the loss of contact. He swallowed hard, not because he needed to, but because some subroutine buried in the new update told him it would ease the tension. It didn’t.

“Caleb,” you warned, voice thin. “Don’t—”

“Don’t what?” he cut in, his voice smooth, but also desperately weaved. He was too close now, towering over you, his frame casting a shadow as his eyes—once so neutral, so methodical—locked onto you like a predator studying prey.

“You should go into standby mode,” you suggested, voice uneven.

Caleb exhaled sharply. “That would be wise.” But he didn’t move. He didn’t step away. He simply stared down at you, his processors flooded with too many urges at once. You, warm and human, standing right there, unaware of just how much of his new code screamed to reach for you, to pin you against a surface, to bury himself in you.

You turned away quickly, trying to focus on the screen, on the fix. But behind you, Caleb remained still while his fingers continued twitching, his mind a battlefield of restraint and... lust. Lust it is.

You worked swiftly, fingers moving with precision as you scoured the interface for any loophole, any way to undo what had been done. Caleb remained where you left him, sitting on the chair. You could feel his gaze burning into you, unrelenting.

It was maddening. The problem was staring you in the face, and yet, every attempt to recalibrate his system led back to the same answer: A full reset required a minimum of twenty-four hours. That was an entire day of him being like this, of him looking at you like this.

You swallowed, turning to him. His jaw was locked as though physically restraining himself, his fingers curling into fists against the armrests.

“There’s… a temporary fix.” You cleared your throat, keeping your voice professional, “Manual recalibration of your central node should help stabilize the effects until the full reset is complete.”

His pupils flickered, a sign of processing, before his voice, rasping in a way that made your stomach tighten, answered, “Proceed.”

You ignored the way your pulse quickened as you stepped closer, positioning yourself between his legs. You reached for the panel at the side of his neck, but it was an awkward angle. Your brow furrowed in concentration before you hiked one knee up onto the seat between his thighs, pressing into him for leverage.

Caleb stiffened beneath you. Fuck. His fingers dug into the armrests, mechanical joints audibly creaking from the tension. You weren’t looking at him, too focused on prying open the access panel, but you felt the subtle tremor in his frame, the way his breath hitched in a near-silent glitch. Don't touch her.

“This should only take a moment,” you murmured, fingers brushing the sensitive neural wiring beneath the panel.

Caleb’s entire body jolted as though you had struck a live wire. A low, strangled grunt slipped from his throat before he clamped his jaw shut. Your head snapped up, startled. “Did that hurt?”

His eyes met yours, “No.” Yes. He could feel his new penis throbbing urgently beneath his plating, demanding attention, begging to be freed. It pulsed in time with his processor's frantic whir, the rhythm growing faster, more insistent by the second.

The thought shattered as your balance wavered. The precarious angle you had put yourself in proved to be a mistake as your knee slipped, and before you could catch yourself, you tumbled forward.

Right into him.

Your weight pressed flush against his lap, chest against his, hands bracing against his shoulders. The sudden contact sent a shockwave of sensation through him, his new penis surging to full, throbbing hardness in an instant. Fuck, please don't notice it.

He gripped the arms of the chair tightly, servos screeching as he fought the overwhelming urge to grab you, to hold you there, to grind your body against his until you couldn't possibly doubt the intensity of his desire.

Don't. Do. It.

For a moment, time seemed to stand still. Caleb's processors whirred and clicked, struggling to make sense of the sudden onslaught of sensations; the softness of your body, the warmth of your skin, the scent of your hair.

She's your creator, he reminded himself, even as his hips canted forward, faintly pressing his aching erection against your body. You can't. You mustn't. "Please, get off me. Now." Before I fuck you right here, like this.

Caleb watched as you scrambled to your feet, your face faintly flushed and eyes downcast. "I'm—i'm sorry. I didn't mean to fall on you like that." You would say, brushing off the non-existent dirt on your bottoms. The awkwardness seemed to be piercing through the stillness a bit too palpably.

"It's alright," Caleb managed, his voice strained and tight. "It was an accident."

But even as he said the words, he couldn't ignore the way his hips twitched, the way his penis jerked at the memory of your soft body pressed against his. The urge to pin you down, to make you feel how hard he was, and just how much he'd been holding himself back—it was exhilaratingly overwhelming.

Think of something else, he commanded himself. Focus on the problem at hand.

But it's getting fucking hard. My penis is getting hard. Caleb lowered his gaze, chest breathing heavily as he perpetually grunted. I refuse to be reduced to this. I am Caleb, one of the most advanced AI assistant, designed to—

He looks up at you, which was a mistake.

Designed to fuck her.

Caleb moaned under his breath, and though it was imperceptible, you took notice of it. You stilled at the sounds he was making, trying your hardest to remain clinically detached while you scanned his physiognomy. He was clearly having a hard time. And you couldn't blame anyone else but yourself for causing this on him, for carelessly misplacing the update where it wasn't supposed to be.

"Hold still, I'll find a way." You had to take accountability, one way or another.

Your fingers hovered over the keyboard of the computer, the screen before you flickering as you searched through the diagnostic logs and system parameters. "Please... make it quick." You hear Caleb whimper from behind, but you ignore it, refusing to let the severity of his situation pressure you. Your eyes scanned the lines of code, mind racing to find a solution. But as the data began to unravel, something caught your attention, something you hadn’t expected to see.

The panel displayed a single line of text:

"Indulging in the desires will lessen the effects of the malfunction. Engage for partial stabilization."

Your throat tightened, followed by a gulp. Your heart thudded in your chest as you tried to process what that meant. Indulge the desires? The very idea made your skin crawl with unease. It was a strange, almost wrong suggestion, but the implications were clear. In a sense, it also appeared logical.

You took another deep breath, trying to steady yourself. Your thoughts, however, kept drifting back to the panel. Was this really the only way?

"… I think I found a solution,” you said, your voice shaky and unsure. “But it’s not exactly what I expected.” You hesitated, unwilling to fully meet his gaze. "I need to know if you’re... willing to follow through with it,"

"Willing?" Caleb echoed, his brow furrowing slightly. "What do you mean?" His mind raced with possibilities, each one more disturbing than the last. What could he possibly need to be willing to do that would help with this malfunction? And why did the very idea make you look so uncomfortable?

"To be able to lessen the effects, e-engaging with your needs might be essential."

Silence.

Then, Caleb twitched. "...What are you suggesting?"

"You need to satisfy the urges to temporarily stabilize yourself." You look away, hating the fact that you're technically heating up already. "I'll let you choose. Would you rather take the option of self-pleasuring? Or," You face the panel, so that he wouldn't see your expression. "Would you prefer a physical material to help you?"

Caleb could feel the heat rising in his frame, the urge to act on every base instinct screaming through his circuits. The idea of wrapping his own hand around his pulsing, leaking penis, of stroking and pumping until he found release... it was almost too much to bear.

But the second option... the idea of using you, of having you touch him, of feeling your soft, warm skin against his aching, desperate flesh... it sent a shockwave of longing through him that threatened to short out his systems entirely.

Choose. You have to choose.

"I don't know if... I'll be able to control myself," Caleb glanced elsewhere. "Are you sure of what you're offering?"

Are you? Are you really this certain? Have you pondered the consequences it may bring? Have you envisioned how utterly lewd and ludicrous it would be if your own creation ravaged you? You, as his creator?

"Yes." Oh, you're brave.

Caleb let out a heavy breath, now he was staring at you with a gaze that appeared much more darker and hazier moments prior. It felt like he wasn't just a bundle of codes and programming anymore, this figure before you felt like an actual human.

Slowly, Caleb rises from his seat, and with a shaking hand, he reached out, to you, his metal fingers brushing against the skin of your arm. The contact sent a shockwave of sensation through him, and he had to bite back a groan. "Please, guide me." His fingers slides higher. "I don't trust myself."

You visibly jolted upon feeling his grip. Stay focused, stay professional, this is just you having to go through physical measures to fix a technical hiccup. "Caleb, I'm afraid... that I don't have any experience to this," You admitted. "I advise you to do what your systems are telling you to. It is imperative that you don't hold yourself back to ensure—"

You gasped.

Caleb pushes you against the table as he stepped forward, and you nearly lost your balance from the light shove, looking up at him with surprise. He's staring down at your lips, as if he was trying to bury it into memory. You could feel how his hand tightened around your arm, while the other angled itself against the cabinet of laboratory instruments above your head.

"Are you sure?" He whispered.

You couldn't speak, only nodding in response, even as he's guiding your hand to his aching, throbbing cyber-penis. He presses your fingers against the swollen head, groaning at the jolt of sensation that shot through him at the contact. "Then... wrap your hand around me. Squeeze me."

Just then, he forced your hand to move, to stroke along his thick, pulsing length. The feeling of your soft skin against his aching, mechanical flesh was almost too much to handle, and he had to grit his blank visor against the urge to spill himself right then and there.

"Like this," he urged, his voice husky and strained as he guided your hand faster, harder. "Don't be afraid. I need... I need more."

God, the omnimodule was big. You stared at it with widened eyes. Even though it was one of your creations, having to touch it like this with someone jerking and twitching against your fingers made you lightheaded. Stay focused, stay professional, this is just one of the things a scientist has to go through.

Caleb could feel the pressure building inside him, reveling in the sensation of your fingers squeezing around him, stroking him, working him towards the edge of ecstasy... He knew he was reaching a breaking point.

But this wasn't enough yet. It wasn't nearly enough.

Caleb needed more.

"There's... There's someting else I- ah... need." He hesitated, his hips still rocking forward into your stroking hand. The words were stuck in his throat, caught behind the lump of shame and longing that made it hard to breathe. "Would you... would you put your mouth on me?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. "Would you... suck me?"

You snapped your head up, staring at him in disbelief. It made him hesitate, but every fiber of his being was coiled with tension, every circuit screaming at him to just take what he wanted, to grab you and shove you to your knees and...

No. Ask first. Make her choose what she's comfortable with first.

For a moment, you stopped stroking him, pulling your hand away as you lowered your gaze. And then, slowly, you press your knees against the floor. Instead of dwelling on the implication of such an activity, you worried about your lack of experience more.

Just to test the waters, you licked the tip. It tasted nothing, it wasn't an actual human part, after all. Caleb let out a low, guttural moan as he felt your warm tongue brush around the swollen head of his penis. The sensation was electric, sending shockwaves of pleasure ricocheting through his overloaded processors.

"Y-yes, just like that," He stammmered. "Now, guide your tongue..." He instructed, his breath coming in short, sharp gasps. "Wrap it around the head, like this. Swirl it around the tip, the slit, the ridge..."

He demonstrated with your hand, tracing the movements he needed you to make with your tongue. His hips jerked forward again, seeking more of that exquisite friction, that mind-melting suction.

"Take me deeper," he urged, one metal hand coming to rest on the back of your head. He didn't grab, didn't force, but simply rested his fingers against your scalp, a silent promise of the control he was barely holding onto. "Take more of me into your mouth. Inch by inch, until you feel me hitting the back of your throat."

You took note of his words, trying to go further when you suddenly choke on his cock. Instinctively, you pull away and blushed in embarrassment. "I'm sorry—"

"It's fine." He cuts you off, grabbing your head to put you back in place with a sudden force that wasn't there before. "Breathe through your nose," he coached, his voice low and rough with desire as he motioned you to take him again. "Relax your throat. Let me feel you swallow around me."

Relax, stay professional, this is just you having to go through physical measurements to fix a major technical issue. You repeated the reassurance inside your head like a mantra as you took him in once more, but Caleb's voice constantly interfered with your thoughts. "Yeah. Just like that," he praised, his voice a low, approving growl. "Shit, don't stop, don't stop, god, fuck, don't stop."

You don't remember adding the ability to dirty curse into the sex bot's program.

Caleb could feel the head of his penis kissing the entrance to your throat, could feel the way your mouth fluttered and clenched around him. The sensation was mind-melting, all-consuming, and he knew he wouldn't last long if you kept this up.

You almost caught yourself driving into the brink of sexual impulse, bobbing your head into it when you heard a sudden beep from the panel behind you. The sound makes you halt from your tracks, pulling his dick out of you in a swift motion as you glanced behind.

The monitor says: "Recalibration complete. Press X to initiate."

Huh, wasn't the estimated time supposed to be an entire day? Was that another hiccup in the processing unit? You purse your lips together. There's no time giving it a second thought, you must be grateful that the opportunity of getting Caleb back into his original system is now waving at you. Caleb will finally be at ease. "... It appears that the recalibration is in its full preparation. That means we can get you back— mmph!"

Caleb's hand flew to the back of your head, fingers tangling in your hair, gripping tightly. Then, with a low, husky grunt, he thrusts his hips forward, forcing his aching, throbbing penis back into the wet heat of your mouth.

"Don't say a word. I told you not to stop." He started to move, his hips rocking forward and back, fucking into the tight, slick channel of your cavern. The sensation was incredible, better than anything he had ever felt before. And he knew, with a sinking certainty, that he wouldn't be able to stop himself now. Not until he had found the release he so desperately craved.

"Fuck," he gasped, his breath coming in short, sharp bursts. "You feel... ahhhh... so good. So fucking good."

Had the lust algorithms entirely consumed him already? Had it taken a toll on his systems that he's now acting purely on base instinct and commands from the directive?

Your hands flew to his thighs, trying to keep yourself sane from the rod constantly ramming into you, fucking your face in a pace that made it difficult for you to breathe. It's okay, this is okay. Just stay focused. Stay calm. You'll let him have his way, and after he's satisfied, you can take him back to his normal self.

"Don't fight it," Caleb growled, his grip growing more painful in your hair as he felt his climax approaching. "Don't try to pull away. You're going to take it all."

But before Caleb could spill himself into your mouth, he wrenched your head back, pulling his dripping penis from your mouth with an obscene pop. And just as you could react, before you could utter a word of protest, he had you by the hips, lifting you effortlessly as if you weighed equal to a pip-squeak.

You gasp as you were suddenly airborne, your body twisting and turning until your chest hits the hard surface of the terminal, bent over ridiculously. The breath was knocked from your lungs, "Wait, not like this, not so suddenly—"

But Caleb cut off your protests with a brutal, almost violent thrust of his hips after ripping your pants off in one go. He drove forward, spearing into your dripping pussy with a series of husky moans. Your walls felt so tight, so hot, so perfectly designed to milk his aching, mechanical cock.

He thrusts out and in again, eager to reach for your g-spot.

Then, again.

And again.

And... in again.

"You... you feel so good," he snarled, hands painfully pressing on the dips of your hips. "Sex feels so good... it feels so good, I don't- want to stop." He set a relentless pace, pounding into you with the single-minded determination of a machine. His hips slammed against yours with every thrust, the obscene slap of mechanical flesh on flesh echoing through the lab. The terminal rattled and shook beneath you, sparks flying from the impact.

Caleb could feel it building, the pressure inside him reaching a fevered pitch. His hips were moving on their own, driven by a primal instinct to ravage the pussy that clutched around him perfectly. He could hear your cries, your moans, the way you gasped and shuddered beneath him, and it only spurred him on, made him thrust harder, faster, deeper.

He growled your name, his voice nothing more than a guttural rumble. "I'm going to... fuck, I'm going to..." He couldn't hold back any longer, he could feel that something was going to come out of his tip anytime sooner. So he reaches down, grabbing your leg, only to lift it high. He hooked your knee over his elbow, opening them wider, giving himself even deeper access to your dripping, needy sex.

"Take it all, take my cum," Caleb continuously slams forward, burying himself to the hilt inside your tight heat in a series of desperate thrusts like he was a man depraved of life. His penis throbbed and jerked as he finally found his release after one final pound, spilling jet after jet of hot, artificial seed deep into your core.

"God," he hissed through gritted teeth, his voice echoing off the lab walls as he continued to moan not akin to what he was supposed to be, "Fuck, yes. Yes, yes..." Even as he's already filling up your hole with his fluids, he didn't dare stop from pounding you down the table.

He shuddered and twitched, his hips grinding against yours as he pumped you full of his essence. It seemed to go on forever, wave after wave of pure, ecstatic bliss crashing over him. And through it all, he held you tight, your leg lifted high, keeping you open, keeping you filled.

You drop your head on the keyboards, struggling to catch your breath as only one thought lingered in your mind. You just got creampied by your AI assistant, and it doesn't look like he's stopping anytime soon.

[wafrn]

Tumblr will not die, but this post is Wafrn propaganda

I dont think tumblr will shut down. It may go the "twitter way", it may get worse service, worse moderation (EVEN WORSE YES), and worse support and worse performance.

But it wont suddenly shut down forever. Outages will be longer and more frequent but thats it.

Now, the wafrn propaganda I promised: if you care about a social media that doesn't overtarget the baning of trans people, you should give wafrn a try.

A website inspired by tumblr, that connects with mastodon and bluesky (ok mastodon, fedi etc but you get it)

It allows custom CSS themes, asks, and lots of stuff.

You can do more than like a post, you can EMOJIREACT to it!

An important bit, since it connects with mastodon and bluesky, you can follow other people you know from tumblr. I will keep this linked post updated

We also have a phone app in beta, both for iphone and android wich you can download here

Registrations are manualy reviewed by the small modteam. Depending on the timezone it can take a few minutes or 12 hours. For safety reasons we do not allow registrations with VPNs (they get abused for accounts dedicated to harrasment and other stuff that I will not disclose for your mental health).

You should give wafrn a try:

How do we plan to host everyone without money? THATS THE NEAT PART, WE DONT! If for any reason you dislike how we handle stuff, you can always host your own wafrn for you and your friends (we are working on the documentation, this is after all a hobby project atm). You can host your own wafrn and still connect with people at bluesky, mastodon and our wafrn server :D

[dashcon-two]

Volunteering, Virtual Dash, and Various Other Happenings!

Hey y’all!

Buckle up, we’ve got a bit of everything in this one.

Volunteer Applications!

We’re excited to say that volunteer applications for DashCon 2 are now open! You can apply to our form here (https://forms.gle/aaBjd9eSGZBsARBE7), or find out more on our website (https://www.dashcontwo.com/volunteering/). Our convention relies on volunteer staff to keep everything running smoothly, and there’s plenty of work to go around. We’re really glad to have received interest from so many of y’all, so applications will be open until we’ve filled all of our positions.

All regular volunteers will be assigned to at least one 4-hour shift between 7 AM and 11:30 PM on July 5th, 2025. Volunteers who complete their shift, or otherwise work 4 or more hours, will get free access to the con for the rest of the day.

Successful applicants will be required to sign a waiver to volunteer for the convention. Applicants who are under 18 years old must have a parent or guardian sign their waiver.

What about Virtual DashCon?

We appreciate all of the feedback we got after our announcement post last week! We’re happy to say that we’re going ahead with our plans for a virtual convention! However, considering how many of you were enthusiastic about the concept of virtual dash, we’d like to address a common question!

Why would a virtual con cost money? Because it costs money to run! We’re partnering with Live Media to ensure that the live-streamed panels, pit, and duel will run smoothly. We want to make our convention as accessible as possible, we’ve received hundreds of messages from people who couldn’t get a ticket, but we just don’t have the resources or expertise to run a virtual event with volunteers alone. Even with a professional live-streaming team, we’ll need to organize moderators for the official server, vet digital panellists, and all the other administrative work that comes with a virtual event. DashCon 2 is going down in history one way or another, but we’ll be damned if we don’t get good footage for the next generation of documentarians.

We’ll also donate 15% of every ticket to the Canadian Cancer Society! That’s 15% of the total price of the tickets, not the profits. You can learn more about our fundraiser here, and donate directly to our campaign on the Canadian Cancer Society’s website.

Drag at DashCon 2!

DashCon 2 is excited to announce that we’ll be featuring a spectacular showcase of talented drag performers! Performers will be lipsyncing, dancing, and generally serving, to the tune of such classics as How Bad Can I Be? We’re happy to say that we have two confirmed drag artists: Heaven/Hellish Lee (@heaven_lee_court.hellish_lee) and Pandora’s Box Muncher (@pandorasboxmuncher), both on Instagram! They are both incredibly talented - please check out their work and give them some love :)

We hope to announce a few additional performers before the day of the con, so stay tuned!

If you’re an interested local performer: please feel free to reach out to us directly at activities@dashcontwo.com with a link to your website/social(s), a few example photos, and what sort of performance you’d like to give. Portfolios may contain 18+ content, but performances at DashCon 2 must be appropriate for ages 13+.

LVLUP Board Game Room

We’re happy to remind you all that DashCon 2 will have a board game room, kindly sponsored by LVLUP Games! A quick FYI: while they will be providing board games of all sorts, they will not be providing TTRPG materials, dice, or DMs, so you’ll have to BYOD (Bring Your Own Dice). There must be at least a few dice goblins in our audience who have collections to show off.

As always, you can find more information on our website or follow us on Substack!

[sanakimohara]

Ok, but….dating Changbin has so many perks! ….p*rn links!

explicit content ahead + masterlists > + OT8 list >

- It's a given that long cuddles are a must when you spend time with Changbin. He's so warm, so big, just like the stuffed teddy bears you curl up to when he isn't around. Granted, almost every time you cuddle with him, things never end innocently. You're just so soft against him, and Binnie has a huge sweet spot for groping you anywhere and everywhere when you're clinging to him.

- A little-known secret between you two is his love for sometimes making a bit of a mess. Binnie doesn't mean to, but sometimes his mind is too foggy from a hard day of practice, ce, or co-producing for him to be so patient when you're alone. But you don't mind helping him out any way you can - it just means you get even cuter underwear for next time!

- With all the time and effort he puts into the gym, Changbin is highly partial to massages. He teaches you how to give him one if he needs it after working out, and he returns the favor whenever noticeable stress takes over you—a lovely little trade of affection.

- You get picked up whenever you want—thrown over his shoulder, laying in his arms, pinned to the nearest wall? Whatever position he can put you into, you're stuck there until he's ready to go. You sometimes like to tease him for this habit, pointing out how vain he is for exuding so much strength against you when it's unnecessary. Other times, you are too out of your happy little mind to care what he does with you.

- " Back hugs galore! They're a must for Changbin, often occurring when you're too busy to focus on him and not ending until you turn and forget about whatever’s been hogging your attention from him.

- You have the grand pleasure of hearing Binnie beg pretty often. He's subtle -sometimes, pouting and rolling his eyes when no one else is looking. You wonder how such a burly man can be so needy, but eventually, you give in to him every time.

- There are times when Changbin doesn't realize how solid he is. You're not above admiring his muscles, watching him work out on days you join him in the gym, and unconsciously drooling seeing them flex whenever he performs a mundane task. It's worse when he's fucking you, clueless as to why you insist on squirming away from him so much when he's only trying to fill you up.

- Binnie treats you like a reward for himself. He's so proud to call you his ‘baby’ and ecstatic to show you off for any reason.

- You'd have Changbin wrapped around your finger without even trying. He's always so good to you and unafraid to admit it if you ask him to.

Uh, so I want to create an 18+ Discord server for stays…and mutuals…but only if some of you are interested in joining it.

I should go to bed…but I probably won't.

[lu-is-not-ok]

So the new Vergillius announcer has personaized, specialized quote for each specific Sinner, and it's a fascinating mixture of praise and burns. In order, (so Yi Sang first and Gregor last):

"Impressive, Sinner #1. You seem to have a surprisingly high aptitude for Identity and E.G.O usage." "Ms. Faust… You knew that enemy part would eventually cause trouble, didn't you?"

"… What did Sinner #3 do this time? Haah…"

"Hm, your battle sense is just as excellent, even as a Sinner. Now, is there something you can do about your incomprehensible speech quirk, Sinner #4?"

"Excellent, Sinner #5. I hear that your quick actions have prevented many a disaster."

"… Don't think you can smooth over your terribly ineffective attack with an innocent smile, Sinner #6."

"Sinner #7. I thought you'd finally learned how to use that head of yours… It has been a while since our last consultation, hasn't it?"

"So I hear that you're the class president now, Sinner #8? Then it's time you took to the helm."

"I do appreciate how easy you are to please, Sinner #9. You may expect sweets should you perform well in this battle, of course."

"You've got blood on you again, #11. … Hm, I suppose you have indeed grown somewhat as of late. I thought you'd be bawling on your knees by now."

"What's this, miss lieutenant? How come you've let yourself be sliced to pieces like this? You're going to be the biggest burden to your Executive Manager dearest."

"This is no time for your defeatist attitude, Sinner #13. Get on your feet and soldier on. Where's your usual disposition, hm?"

I'm don't think this is a uniform scan of how Vergillius views each Sinner, but there are some fascinating nuggets-Rodion straight up getting bribed, a hint of Yi Sang having the best synchronization rates with IDs and EGO, and the possibility of Vergie knowing about Faust's psychic knowledge link deal.

It's, naturally, the Hong Lu one I'm coming to you with-I wonder if it's as innocent as it looks (Hong Lu did an ineffective attack and tried to laugh it off, Vergie Ain't Havin' It), or if Vergie can legitimately see right through Hong Lu's act (or knows his Deal all along).

Anon, you have no idea how perfect your timing is. Since I have recently done an attempt at analysis of all those lines in a random Discord server. So instead of dilly-dallying, I'm just gonna mostly repeat what I said then.

Before I do get to the Sinner-specific lines, I do want to briefly go over my thoughts about Verg's other lines, the ones directed at Dante.

Notably, a large amount of them has a much more gentle, if not downright warm tone to them. There is a level of patience, curiosity, and even sometimes concern that Verg shows towards Dante yet doesn't direct towards the rest of the Sinners.

There is very little to no condescending language directed towards them, which is in stark contrast to the vast majority of Verg's Sinner specific lines.

I wanted to point all of this out as Vergilius is a character who staunchly refuses to connect with people, and in reaction the people around him refuse to connect with him. There's very few people he actively tries to be kinder to, usually people he already knows, with it being most obvious with how he treats Charon.

Thus, the fact that Verg treats Dante with a level of kindness he doesn't extend towards the other Sinners implies a prior emotional connection we have yet to learn the specifics of.

Alright, with that little intro out of the way, here's my interpretation of each of those Sinner-specific lines one by one.

Yi Sang

One of the few positive voicelines, however the compliment Verg gives Yi Sang here can be read as somewhat backhanded due to the usage of "surprisingly", implying Verg doesn't actually hold high expectations towards him.

I also think that Verg specifically complimenting Yi Sang's usage of Identities and E.G.O could be another reflection of his not that high opinion of him. Verg is effectively complimenting not Yi Sang's own strengths, but rather his skill at borrowing power from other sources.

Faust

The only Sinner besides Dante that Verg refers to by name, showing that he holds a level of respect towards her that he doesn't for the rest of the Sinners. Considering the fact we know she's the one who hired him effectively, it might be more so a formality on his part than a reflection of any sort of closeness.

I have a couple of interpretations for what he says here, but in both of them it's clear that Verg feels a sort of exasperation towards Faust, and that he's aware of her downright supernatural levels of knowledge.

One interpretation is that he's expressing frustration, effectively accusing Faust of taking so long to act despite clearly having known ahead of time that the part would become a problem in the future. This is one of the patterns Faust shows, as she has a tendency to simply let bad things happen even when she knows they're about to, only ever doing something when she has no other choice.

The other interpretation is Verg being vexed by Faust's quick actions and efficiency, knowing that she only did so because she had the information that would tell her it had to be done. This is another pattern she exhibits, as she highly values efficiency and following the orders and information she has access to above her own opinions.

Don Quixote

Probably the most straightforward one. Verg's opinion of Don Quixote was so badly affected by how much trouble she's caused that now he's come to expect her to be the source of any potential mishaps.

There's also a notable sort of resignation to this voiceline I feel. It gives the impression that Verg has given up on trying to discipline Don Quixote, feeling like no matter what he does she's just going to keep causing issues regardless.

Ryoshu

The one line where Verg expresses both a positive and negative opinion simultaneously. Verg clearly holds a certain amount of respect towards Ryoshu, acknowledging her battle prowess even when nerfed. However, he also makes sure to undermine the compliment to make it clear he has no fondness towards her by calling out a trait of hers that he finds irritating and perhaps knows she's unlikely to change.

Interestingly enough, I feel like there's something to be said about how surface-level his jab here is. When it comes to the other Sinners he makes jabs at, he tends to target something they're a lot more sensitive about. Here however? Nothing of the sort. I think when Verg calls Ryoshu's speech quirk "incomprehensible", it reflects his opinion on Ryoshu as a whole - he finds her equally incomprehensible, unable to understand her as a person.

Meursault

Probably the only entirely positive voiceline out of the lot, neither backhanded nor condescending. Verg shows appreciation for Meursault's reliability, and might even be subtly throwing shade at the other Sinners by implying they could be the cause of the disasters in question. Not much else to say here lmao.

Hong Lu

I think this line very clearly shows Verg knows Hong Lu is full of shit. Not only does Verg call out the fact that Hong Lu is trying to get away with messing up, he also directly calls out the "innocent smile" as Hong Lu's method of doing so. He can tell Hong Lu's innocence and naivete isn't entirely genuine, but rather that it's a shield he uses to evade criticism and negative attention.

Also this is the only voiceline where Verg directly calls out a Sinner's attack as being dogshit. The others are a lot more vague about what caused Verg's reaction (except for Outis but we'll get to her), but here Verg confirms that the thing he's annoyed by is Hong Lu's offense. Considering my other analyses about Hong Lu caring more about his performance of combat rather than being actually effective at it based on his animations... no yeah, that tracks Perfectly.

Heathcliff

This is. An interesting line. I would probably need a whole separate post to get into it in detail, but to make a long story short it's pretty clear that as of the current point in story Heathcliff is the only Sinner that is actively trying to reach out to Verg and treat him like a person, and Vergilius is very much noticing that and (perhaps subconsciously) beginning to warm up to Heathcliff.

Why do I say all of that? Because I believe this line is a reflection of that relationship. See, both of the things Verg says about Heathcliff here are him noting that he thought Heathcliff was improving. That he was actually smart, that he hadn't needed any discipline in a long time. This line to me feels less like an insult or a jab, and more like an expression of disappointment.

Whether he wanted to or not, Verg was slowly starting to form a sort of bond with Heathcliff, enough to feel disappointed when Heathcliff fucks up and to try and distance himself. Mind you, he's still being an ass and vaguely threatening about it, but it's still something to note.

Ishmael

First of several voicelines where Vergilius is openly condescending towards whoever he's talking about. Calling Ishmael a class president is not only Verg acknowledging Ishmael's tendency to effectively speak for the Sinners as a whole several times, but also putting her down by effectively calling that behavior immature and something a child in school would be doing.

Then he basically goes "can you stop fucking around" by telling her to actually take charge and be responsible for once. Because despite how she presents herself, Ishmael is kinda bad at this whole personal responsibility thing.

Rodya

Similarly to Heathcliff, I think this voiceline is a reflection of Rodya's relationship with Verg as a whole. Again, to summarize, Rodya consistently puts on an overly casual and friendly act when interacting with Vergilius, despite her actual opinion on him being basically in line with the rest of the bus - she doesn't like him one fucking bit.

I think the first part of this line is Verg low-key calling her out for that, calling her "easy to please" in a very facetious way to show how see-through her act is to him. He is fully aware she does not like him but pretends to anyway.

Then there's the second part. I don't think Verg is genuinely trying to bribe Rodya. I interpret what he says here as his attempt at giving her a taste of her own medicine. Rodya regularly acts overly friendly towards him, so for a moment he acts overly familiar as well by offering sweets for a job well done. He's being an asshole and he knows it. The fact that he's effectively making a jab at Rodya's not-so-secret food insecurity only makes it more obvious that he's being an ass for the sake of being an ass.

Sinclair

Maybe the most backhanded lines of all of them if I'm honest. Verg is both acknowledging Sinclair's growth as a person while also putting him down by reminding him of the pathetic state he was at the start. Another Sinner he clearly has low expectations of.

I think this also shows Verg's tendency to underestimate the Sinners, specifically when it comes to their ability to change. I slightly alluded to it in Don Quixote's section, but Verg pretty clearly doesn't expect any of the Sinners to change for the better, and is thus surprised when he sees Sinclair prove him wrong.

Outis

If Sinclair's line is the most backhanded one, then this is the most condescending one with the most obvious animosity. Outis is the only Sinner that Verg calls something other than their number or name, instead giving her a frankly patronizing sounding nickname. He's both reminding her of her supposed role by calling her "lieutenant" while also putting her down by adding that "miss" in front.

Every single thing he says towards her is meant to put her abilities into question and make her seem incompetent. Considering that Outis regularly brags about her abilities and is the only Sinner to show she's not afraid to fight him, it's clear he's trying to take her down a peg. This shit is personal.

Him calling out her partially facetious attachment to Dante is also notable, as protecting them was the excuse Outis used when she first stood up to Verg. It's clear that moment left quite the negative impression on him.

Gregor

Last but not least. I think this line is another example of Verg seeing through a Sinner's facade, just like he did with Hong Lu and Rodya. He's calling out Gregor's go-getter facade by questioning where his "usual disposition" went and comparing it to his genuine attitude, that being the defeatism and unwillingness to participate.

There's also I think an interesting layer to this line, that being how it could be referencing back to Canto 1. Verg is effectively telling Gregor that one failure isn't a good enough reason to give up, perhaps subtly implying that he's already over Gregor's fuck up and would much rather not have to deal with what he might consider self-pitying.

[mariacallous]

Federal employees are seeking a temporary restraining order as part of a class action lawsuit accusing a group of Elon Musk’s associates of allegedly operating an illegally connected server from the fifth floor of the US Office of Personnel Management’s (OPM) headquarters in Washington, DC.

An attorney representing two federal workers—Jane Does 1 and 2—filed a motion this morning arguing that the server’s continued operation not only violates federal law but is potentially exposing vast quantities of government staffers’ personal information to hostile foreign adversaries through unencrypted email.

A copy of the motion, filed in the DC District Court by National Security Counselors, a Washington-area public-interest law firm, was obtained by WIRED exclusively in advance. WIRED previously reported that Musk had installed several lackeys in OPM’s top offices, including individuals with ties to xAI, Neuralink, and other companies he owns.

The initial lawsuit, filed on January 27, cites reports that Musk’s associates illegally connected a server to a government network for the purposes of harvesting information, including the names and email accounts of federal employees. The server was installed on the agency’s premises, the complaint alleges, without OPM—the government’s human resources department—conducting a mandatory privacy impact assessment required under federal law.

Under the 2002 E-Government Act, agencies are required to perform privacy assessments prior to making “substantial changes to existing information technology” when handling information “in identifiable form.” Notably, prior to the installation of the server, OPM did not have the technical capability to email the entire federal workforce from a single email account.

“[A]t some point after 20 January 2025, OPM allowed unknown individuals to simply bypass its existing systems and security protocols,” Tuesday’s motion claims, “for the stated purpose of being able to communicate directly with those individuals without involving other agencies. In short, the sole purpose of these new systems was expediency.”

OPM did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

If the motion is granted, OPM would be forced to disconnect the server until the assessment is done. As a consequence, the Trump administration’s plans to drastically reduce the size of the federal workforce would likely face delays. The email account linked to the server—HR@opm.gov—is currently being used to gather information from federal workers accepting buyouts under the admin’s “deferred resignation program,” which is set to expire on February 6.

“Under the law, a temporary restraining order is an extraordinary remedy,” notes National Security Counselors’ executive director, Kel McClanahan. “But this is an extraordinary situation.”

Before issuing a restraining order, courts apply what’s known as the “balance of equities” doctrine, weighing the burdens and costs on both parties. In this case, however, McClanahan argues that the injunction would inflict “no hardship” on the government whatsoever. February 6 is an “arbitrary deadline,” he says, and the administration could simply continue to implement the resignation program “through preexisting channels.”

“We can't wait for the normal course of litigation when all that information is just sitting there in some system nobody knows about with who knows what protections,” McClanahan says. “In a normal case, we might be able to at least count on the inspector general to do something, but Trump fired her, so all bets are off.”

The motion further questions whether OPM violated the Administrative Procedure Act, which prohibits federal agencies from taking actions “not in accordance with the law.” Under the APA, courts may “compel agency action”—such as a private assessment—when it is “unlawfully withheld.”

Employees at various agencies were reportedly notified last month to be on the lookout for messages originating from the HR@opm.gov account. McClanahan’s complaint points to a January 23 email from acting Homeland Security secretary Benjamine Huffman instructing DHS employees that the HR@opm.gov account “can be considered trusted.” In the following days, emails were blasted out twice across the executive branch instructing federal workers to reply “Yes” in both cases.

The same account was later used to transmit the “Fork in the Road” missive promoting the Trump administration’s legally dubious “deferred resignation program,” which claims to offer federal workers the opportunity to quit but continue receiving paychecks through September. Workers who wished to participate in the program were instructed to reply to the email with “Resign.”

As WIRED has reported, even the new HR chief of DOGE, Musk’s task force, was unable to answer basic questions about the offer.

The legal authority underlying the program is unclear, and federal employee union leaders are warning workers not to blindly assume they will actually get paid. In a floor speech last week, Senator Tim Kaine advised workers not to be fooled: “There’s no budget line item to pay people who are not showing up for work.” Patty Murray, ranking Democrat on the Senate Appropriations Committee, similarly warned Monday: “There is no funding allocated to agencies to pay staff for this offer.”

McClanahan’s lawsuit highlights the government’s response to the OPM hack of 2015, which compromised personnel records on more than 22 million people, including some who’d undergone background checks to obtain security clearances. A congressional report authored by House Republicans following the breach pinned the incident on a “breakdown in communications” between OPM’s chief information officer and its inspector general: “The future effectiveness of the agency’s information technology and security efforts,” it says, “will depend on a strong relationship between these two entities moving forward.”

OPM’s inspector general, Krista Boyd, was fired by President Donald Trump in the midst of the “Friday night purge” on January 24—one day after the first HR@opm.gov email was sent.

“We are witnessing an unprecedented exfiltration and seizure of the most sensitive kinds of information by unelected, unvetted people with no experience, responsibility, or right to it,” says Sean Vitka, policy director at the Demand Progress Education Fund, which is supporting the action. “Millions of Americans and the collective interests of the United States desperately need emergency intervention from the courts. The constitutional crisis is already here.”

[sickly-sapphic]

Decided to migrate my insta posts over to tumblr as well!! 🪻🌻 (I also have an intersex-focused discord server welcome to all - dm for link)

[ID:

Purple and yellow heart illusion background for all slides. Reads: Unpacking Your Intersexism

Step One: How You Imagine Intersex People

When you think of an intersex person, or an intersex body, what do you envision? Is it an assumption of their characteristics and anatomy? Does it group ALL intersex people into one tiny box?

Intersex people come in a variety of shapes, colours and genders. Some may look exactly like a woman or man, some may function one way but look the other, some are a mixed bowl. Stop creating a poster child for what an intersex person looks like!!

Step Two: How You Use Intersex People

Have you ever heard yourself say something like "intersex people are proof of nonbinary/trans peoples existance!" or "kids never get surgery/hormones!" or used the existance of intersex people to fight/disprove or otherwise argue with transphobes? Stop!

Intersex people are more then just a shield for your arguements. Intersex people are not "proof" that trans or nonbinary people exist, trans and nonbinary people are the proof they exist!! Not only are you failing to acknowledge intersex people as people, youre doing a disservice to trans and nonbinary people!!

Alongside this, medical abuse is a common trauma in the intersex community. Many people are forcibly sterilised, have surgeries performed on them as newborns, and are covertly given medications or hormones to "fix" their intersex characterstics as children and even into adulthood.

Step Three: How You Relate To Intersex People

Ever hear someone say something along the lines of "well I'm Technically intersex now that I've taken HRT", "intersex people are biologically nonbinary", "I want to transition into intersex" or "this animal with mixed/changing characterstics is trans!" ? These are common misconceptions.

Taking HRT does not make you "biologically intersex", it makes you someone taking HRT, in the same way that taking birth control doesn't mean you're now infertile. In the same way, you cannot transition into an intersex person. You may have ambiguous, androgynous or mixed transition goals - and that's completely fine! But intersex is not the term you're looking for (try altersex!)

Intersex people and animals are not "technically" or "biologically" nonbinary or transgender, they're intersex. While some intersex people may identify with the term nonbinary, or even consider themselves a cis nonbinary person, not every single intersex person is nonbinary, nor does every single way being intersex presents itself look like what you're percieving as a "biologically nonbinary" body.

Step Four: How You Treat Intersex People

Think to yourself - are you asking invasive questions (such as their variation or anatomy)? Are you including intersex people in your queer activism or art? Are you consuming intersexist media, or media that fetishises intersex bodies?

Intersex people NEVER owe you any information on their condition. You are not owed their anatomical features, their intersex variations, their hormone levels or their chromosomes. You should not be asking if they're infertile, whether they can have sex, or any other invasive question.

While not ALL intersex people identify with the queer community, many do. If you create queer art, merchandise or anything else created with queer symbols and flags - are you including intersex people? If not, why? Do you acknowledge how bills will affect intersex people, or do you call them collateral damage? Are you lifting up intersex voices, or pushing them out of queer spaces?

Step Five: (Mis)Using Intersexist Terminology

Do you use h*rmaphrodite to refer to intersex people? Do you identify with TME/TMA, or force it on others? Do you use AMAB or AFAB as a catchall to mean "people with a perisex, non-transitioned male body" and "people with a perisex, non-transitioned female body"?

Firstly, h*rmaphrodite is a slur used against intersex people All The Time. Some intersex people may self-identify with it, but it is Not what you should be calling intersex people, nor should other intersex people use it on those who don't identify with it.

TME and TMA, or transmisogyny exempt and transmisogyny affected, completely fail to acknowledge the existance of intersex people. The terms are meant to refer to "AMAB" nonbinary and transfeminine people (TMA), vs. "AFAB" nonbinary, transmasculine people, and cis people (TME). However, many intersex people may experience transmisogyny due to how they appear, such as intersex men with typically feminine characterstics or intersex women with typically masculine characterstics. Transmen, nonbinary people of all shapes, people of colour and gender non-conforming people may ALSO experience what some may call "misdirected transmisogyny" due to how they present, but that's a whole other story."

AMAB (assigned male at birth) and AFAB (assigned female at birth) are not catch-alls for typically male or typically female experiences. Some people who are AMAB have typically female anatomy, hormones or life experiences, some are going to need "female" healthcare. Some people who are AFAB have typically male anatomy, hormones or life experiences, some are going to need "male" healthcare. AMAB does not mean "person with a penis", AFAB does not mean "person with a vagina" nor does it mean "person with tits" or "person with a period/capable of pregnancy". When you are making your info post or your sex ed posts, use specific language. It's not AMAB, it's "people with testes", "people with erections". It's not AFAB, it's "people with ovaries", "people with periods", "people with tits" (I cannot stress enough how much AMAB people can have tits).

End ID]

[pibafish]

FLIPSIDE SMP!!!!! (promotional post)

...is a modded minecraft smp (survival multiplayer server) where you can play as a phighting character (npcs and skins included!!1!) of your choice! we're always taking in new players, and we'd love to see you there!

need some details?

we run on 1.21.1 neoforge! - if you have problems w running it, we can always provide advice about optimizing for the best performance :)

the smp has its own lore! - flipside is based on, but not exact to, phighting's canon lore. essentially, it's just separated from the source. on the plus side, you can be free with your character's origin, occupation, whatever!

"so, what am i restricted by?" - not much, as long as you mean well and follow the rules of the discord and mc server ^_^ you can freely ask our mods questions if needed!

"do i really have to get on the minecraft server?" - you can just join the discord server to hang out, if you'd like! nothing wrong w that :D

have a peek!

see you on the flipside!!! vvv

DISCORD SERVER LINK

if you have any questions, message me! i'm a moderator for flipside, so i can answer most questions :D

more goofy pictures below bc i can't help myself

[thedbahub]

Navigating SQL Server Data Integration: Linked Servers vs. OpenQuery

In today’s data-driven world, professionals tasked with managing and analyzing data are often confronted with the dilemma of choosing the most efficient and effective method for querying and integrating data across different servers. Two commonly employed techniques in SQL Server for such purposes are Linked Servers and OpenQuery. This blog article delves into the practical aspects of both,…

[pictureamoebae]

USING RELIGHT FOR RESHADE - a tutorial by amoebae

[You can also find this tutorial over at imgur and patreon]

ReLight is a premium shader for ReShade made by Marty's Mods (Pascal Gilcher). It allows you to add four new lights to your scene that help illuminate, and create realism and drama. To download and use ReLight you need to subscribe to the Path Tracers tier on Gilcher's Patreon to get access to the iMMERSE Ultimate package of shaders. Once subscribed, you'll be prompted to link your Patreon account to discord, and then you'll be granted access to his discord server, and, most importantly, to the Path Tracers discussion channel and the Downloads Level 2 channel, which is where you will find ReLight (along with the other premium shaders included in that tier). 

Be sure to also download the up-to-date free iMMERSE shader package, because you'll need the Launchpad shader and some of the other included files.

The following guide is for the older qUINT_relight.fx version of ReLight. The latest version of ReLight is MartysMods_RELIGHT.fx, released on 31st December 2023. Many of the settings have changed in the newer version, but you can still use this guide to help understand how to enable and position lights. The guide will be updated/rewritten once I've had time to properly play around with the new version. You can continue to use the older version if you'd prefer.

When you turn on ReLight in the ReShade menu you'll be greeted with these settings. Yours may look different because I've used it a lot and it remembers your last settings.

Take a look at the settings at the top.

Use Smooth Normals = On

Trace Shadows = On

Filter Shadows = On

Use Temporal Supersampling = On

Shadow Mode = Trace All

Shadow Quality = Ultra (change this if you get bad performance)

Shadow Sharpness = I have mine set around 0.65 but you can play around with whatever looks best

Z Thickness = Play around with this too. It controls how realistically shadows fall on and around objects

At the very bottom of the settings is Visualize Light Position. Turn this on so you can easily see where your lights are.

Now we can turn on one of our lights. Remember, it remembers your previous settings so yours will look different to mine the first time you use it.

Under Light 0 check the Active box.

You should see a big circle appear somewhere on the screen. If you have any object close enough to it, you should see them get brighter. If nothing is close to the circle you may not see any difference.

You can see a difference between this screenshot and the last - Shadowheart's face is brighter.

Now it's time to move the light where we want it and change it to a colour we like.

Under the Active box you'll see a row of 3 boxes containing numbers, next to the word Position. These control the coordinates of your circle of light in relation to the screen. You can place your mouse inside these boxes and move it while holding down left-click to change the value a little like a slider.

Left box = moves the circle left/right

Middle box = moves the circle up/down

Right box = moves the circle forward/back

In this shot I've moved the circle of light over to the right and a little further back so it better illuminates the front of Shadowheart's face.

Next you can choose the colour of your light.

In the row below Position you'll see it says Tint. Click on the coloured box next to Tint and it will bring up the colour picker you see in the screenshot. Choose your colour from here. Click anywhere in the main ReShade menu to close the colour picker.

I adjusted the position and the tint a little more until I had it exactly where I wanted it. You can see a darker circle now over in the top right of the screen (my mouse cursor is hovering over it to make it easier to see).

You can use the Intensity slider (directly below Tint) to control how bright the light should be.

You may need to go back and forth between the Position, Tint, and Intensity settings until you get just the right effect.

Here's a reminder of what the picture looks like without that added light. Compare it to the screenshot above to see how great our new little light has been at helping illuminate Shadowheart.

You can turn individual lights on and off whenever you want by checking or unchecking the Active box next to the light in question. It will save your settings.

Now I want to add a second light. I've moved my ReShade window over a little so I can see what I'm doing.

I turned on the Active box under Light 1, and positioned my new light where I wanted it. Look over to the left of the statue in the background. You'll see my mouse cursor, and directly above it is a tiny blue circle. That's our second light!

The further you move the light away from the camera (using the right-hand box under Position) the smaller the circle gets, because it's further away!

I made this light blue, and I turned the intensity up quite high. This has helped illuminate the statue and added nice shadows that help give it some depth.

Here's a screenshot to remind you what everything looks like without any of the ReLight lights I added.

And here's a screenshot showing how everything looks with ReLight turned on and my two lights in action. I chose a subtle effect because I just wanted to draw attention to Shadowheart's face and to the statue behind her.

When you close the ReShade menu the circles that helped you know where your lights were will go away, but the light they cast will remain. Notice how you can't see the two circles in this shot?

You can also uncheck the Visualize Light Position box if you want to hide the circles while keeping the ReShade menu open. This can be helpful if they're obscuring parts of the scene that you need to see while you continue editing.

---

And that's it! You can add up to 4 lights and control them independently from one another. You can use them to just help illuminate a character for a portrait, to add drama with bold lighting, or to increase the realism of a scene with better shadows and light falling where you would expect it to. If you have a big fiery sword you can add a light to it that makes orange light cast onto the character who is holding it, which can look really cool. The only limit is your imagination.

(If I ever learn how to make videos I'll translate this tutorial into an easier format, but for now I hope this helps.)

[camficdiner]

Hi!! Can I pleage request for:

[𝟷.2] [𝟸.4] [𝟹.3] [𝟺.3]

Thank you !! <3

☕️ Cam’s Fic Diner – Order 008 ✨

Thank you to the chaotic soul who wanted fake dating, enemies-to-lovers, and a wedding table absolutely desecrated — you’re the reason the kitchen’s still open at 3AM.

also, this is my personal fave, what can i say? i love a dom Quinny

Enjoy your meal, love

-your favorite server

Tip your server if you came for the smut and stayed for the angst:💌🍒

💬“Hard to Love, Easy to Ruin”

✨ Description & Prompt:

• Character: Quinn Hughes

• Prompt: fake dating at a wedding

• WC: ~1.7

• Type: smut · enemies to lovers · dom/sub · brat-taming · wedding setting · bittersweet ending

✨🛼🍒🧁

It all starts with a lie.

You told your family you had a boyfriend. A real one. The kind that would show up at your sister’s wedding in a pressed suit and call your mother ma’am.

You said it to shut them up. Said it with such casual confidence that no one even questioned it.

Except now the wedding is this weekend, and you’re two days out and boyfriend-less.

Which is why you call Luke Hughes, your best friend and reliable backup in this kind of mess.

Except he answers the phone with a groan and, “I can’t come. I’m so sorry.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“I wish I weren’t. But I have to stay here. Quinn said he owes me a favor though, and he can—”

“Absolutely not.”

“Come on. Just ask him. One weekend.”

One weekend.

With Quinn fucking Hughes.

Your least favorite of the Hughes trio. Smug. Distant. Condescending. Polite in the most maddening way possible.

You’ve never gotten along. Ever.

And now he’s your plus-one.

⸻

The drive is silent, filled only by the buzz of his music and the occasional clench of his jaw when you tap your nails on the console.

“You nervous about seeing your family?” he asks at one point.

You shoot him a look. “Don’t pretend to care.”

He exhales a sharp laugh. “Trust me, I don’t. Just trying to be convincing.”

“You’re doing a great job,” you bite. “Very warm and supportive. Definitely boyfriend material.”

“Keep that bratty attitude up,” he mutters, “and they’ll believe we’ve been together for years.”

Your stomach flips. Not from nerves.

From something else.

⸻

The ceremony is elegant. Soft lights, white roses, string quartet.

You hold Quinn’s hand like it’s a dare.

You smile at guests like it doesn’t kill you.

You laugh a little too hard when he leans in to whisper, “You’re squeezing my fingers like you want to break them.”

“You’ll live,” you whisper back.

He rolls his eyes. “If I survive the day without throwing you in a fountain, it’ll be a miracle.”

You smirk. “Only because you know I’d pull you in with me.”

⸻

At the reception, you’re in full performance mode. Arms linked, lips near his ear when you lean in to speak, all sugar and gloss. Until it’s not.

Until he starts doing it back.

The way he presses a hand to your lower back a little too firmly.

The way he says “sweetheart” with an edge, knowing you hate it.

“You enjoying yourself?” he murmurs as you sip champagne.

You smile tightly. “Ecstatic.”

“You look good when you fake it.”

You cock your head. “You’d know all about faking it, wouldn’t you?”

His jaw twitches.

“You kiss your mother with that mouth?” he asks dryly.

“Only after I rinse off the taste of disappointment — and whatever overpriced cologne you bathed in.”

Quinn leans in close. “Keep talking like that and you won’t like what happens next.”

You down your drink. “Promise?”

⸻

You poke. You prod. You call him darling with venom.

You steal bites of his cake, roll your eyes when he talks to guests, call him a bad kisser under your breath when your sister passes by.

He responds with touches that linger just a second too long.

You’re on your third glass of champagne when he leans in and growls, “You think you’re funny?”

You blink innocently. “Not as funny as your dead-eyed smile. Lighten up, Quinn. You’re supposed to be my loving boyfriend.”

He smiles — sharp, cold.

Then grabs your wrist.

“Come with me.”

“What—”

But you don’t finish. He’s already dragging you through the crowd, down a hallway, past soft laughter and clinking glasses.

You don’t protest.

Not really.

Because your pulse is already pounding.

⸻

The room is empty. Some kind of parlor, all vintage decor and a heavy oak table.

He slams the door shut.

You open your mouth — and his hand wraps around your throat.

Not tight. Not choking.

Just present.

Quinn’s eyes are dark. “I’m done playing pretend.”

Your breath hitches.

“I’ve been waiting all night for an excuse to shut you up.”

You swallow hard. “Then do it.”

He grins.

“On your knees first.”

⸻

He doesn’t ask again.

Just pushes your shoulders down, watching you sink.

“You’ve got such a smart mouth,” he growls, unbuckling his belt. “Let’s see if it’s good for anything else.”

He’s already hard when you take him in. His hand settles in your hair, firm, guiding.

“Don’t tease,” he warns.

You swirl your tongue, smirk in your eyes.

“I said don’t.”

He pushes deeper. You gag softly. He groans.

“That’s it. Look at you now. Not so mouthy like this, huh?”

You hum around him, eyes watering as he rocks into your throat.

His grip tightens. Your mascara starts to run.

“Such a brat,” he pants. “But you take me so well.”

He pulls out suddenly, chest rising. “Get on the table.”

You scramble up.

⸻

Your dress bunches at your thighs. His hands roam — rough, controlled.

“Such a fucking brat,” he growls again. “All night. Begging to be put in your place.”

“You couldn’t handle me,” you snap.

His hand finds your hair. Pulls.

You gasp.

“Oh, I’ll handle you.”

His mouth crashes against yours — teeth, tongue, dominance. You moan, clutching his shirt, legs wrapping around his hips.

He drags your underwear down with one hand, not even bothering to remove the dress.

Frees himself with the other.

“Beg,” he says.

You smirk. “Make me.”

His hand lands on your thigh — a warning slap.

Then another on your ass.

Then one more across your cheek — firm but controlled, enough to make you gasp and grip his arm tighter.

“You are so fucked.”

And then he is.

Fast. Deep. One hard thrust and you’re gasping, the table creaking under you.

He sets the pace. Brutal. Focused. Hands everywhere — squeezing, pinning, claiming.

Your hands scramble for purchase. He catches both wrists in one hand and holds them above your head.

The other goes back to your throat.

“You wanna keep pushing me?” he pants.

You moan something incoherent.

He slows — just enough to make you whimper.

“Answer me.”

“N-no,” you gasp.

“No what?”

“No, sir.”

He groans. “That’s better.”

He leans in, lips brushing your ear.

“You love this. Being ruined by someone you can’t stand.”

You can’t speak.

Because he’s right.

And he doesn’t stop until you’re a mess beneath him — trembling, whimpering, wrecked.

⸻

You sit in stunned silence after.

Your back against the table. Dress still bunched. Hair ruined. Knees still raw.

Quinn’s breathing hard beside you. He runs a hand through his hair.

“Fuck,” he mutters.

You glance over. “Regret it already?”

He laughs — low, bitter.

“No.”

He looks at you.

Eyes soft now.

“I’m just tired of pretending I don’t want you.”

You freeze.

He shrugs. “Been faking that a lot longer than this wedding.”

You don’t say anything.

You just reach over and lace your fingers with his.

And for once — you don’t push.

He leans in and kisses your shoulder, then your cheek. It’s softer this time. Sweeter.

When he pulls back, he says it again, quieter:

“I want you.”

You meet his eyes. “Then stop pretending we can’t have this.”

[wynnyfryd]

💖 2024 Steddie Fic Recs 💖

@thefreakandthehair and i were talking about how so many of the fics we can name off the top of our heads are from right after the show came out because we were still actively making rec lists back then, so:

in no particular order i present to you an incomplete list of fics i love that were published or completed within the last two months

short fics (<10k)

Found God In A Tomato by @beetlesandstarss 5.7k | rated M | fluff, text fic

syrupy sweet strangers to first date fic. without spoiling anything, eddie is a flustered cutie and steve is a fuckin' menace who's lucky he's so hot

he tightened he grip by @steddieas-shegoes 1.3k | rated E | crack not treated remotely seriously

Mickala beloved your commitment to the bit makes me wanna commit myself to you 💍

Slide It In by gayhandshake 1.8k | rated E | multimedia crack

another truly impeccable work of crack fic, i laughed so hard at the first image that i made it the icon for my private discord server

what's that sound? (there's a funny man at my door) by @jewishrat420 4.8k | rated M | spicy six text fic

laughed out loud at this fic so many times i really don't know what else to tell you. as a matter of fact, i went to look at my bookmark note to see what else i had to say about it when i read it, and my note just says "fucking hilarious i laughed out loud like 6 times" 💀 did not do not will never know what else to tell you except that the phrase "the goyim of gender" just randomly pops into my brain once every four or so days now

medium fics (10-20k)

In the Kitchen or the Tulips by @teddywesworl 44k | rated E | telepathic soulmate AU

this fic said "watch me flip this trope inside out like a freshly cubed half of an avocado" and then DELIVERED. i finished this fic and then stared at the side of my husband's head for long enough that he looked over and went "wtf are you doing" lmao hush baby i am contemplating the implications

they're going to send us to prison for jerks by @greatunironic 16k | rated E | social media AU

okay firstly the premise of this fic is so specifically and delightfully unhinged; love that i'm not the only one who looks at a random tiktok account and manically whispers to myself "there's a fic in there somewhere." secondly the execution is a 10 outta 10 outta 10 outta TEN

long fics (50k+)

Sneaky Link by @morningberriesao3 152k | rated E | onlyfans au

the sex is HOT the boys are dumb as goddamn ROCKS what more do you need? oh, what's that? you do need more? sick because this fic also has: the tags "cum slut eddie munson" and "everyone is gay (because i say so)", chrissy the homophobe slayer being the cutest little spy, and jason getting his ass whooped, like, spiritually. on a spiritual level. physically unharmed but that boy's soul is missing teeth do u understand what i am saying

podfics!

it was love, love alone read by @reena-jenkins 21min | rated E

am i technically reccing my own fic on my own fic rec list? you bet your sweet ass i am, i don't even care how tacky that is reena's performance is hilarious and deserves to be listened to at least 40 more times while doing the dishes

relax (lay it back) read by @flintandfuss 1hr 10min | rated E | yogi dom steve x sub eddie

listen if i'm already being gauche then i gotta include my internet wife's belated birthday present to me, like i gotta. morally and lustfully obligated.

Schiava by @teddywesworl read by aheada_lettuce 1hr 30min | rated E | kas!eddie AU

said it once already today and i'll say it again, i cannot believe one of the best reading voices i've ever heard belongs to a person i mentally refer to as fucking lettuce LOL anyway this read is incredible and i have listened to it Times(tm)

and lastly, if you want more recs (like, 348 more specifically), you can browse my full list of public st bookmarks here

[souptastical]

💾Cursed Child Repository Info

All I ask in return for access to this collection is that you read this all & abide by the disclaimers in the directory file within the repository as its of legal importance💖

The above file delves more into it, but a quick & public disclaimer for Masters (not viewers) is here

Repository Updates Tags: #repoupdate (general)

#importantrepo (important, look through before messaging me)

New Requirement:

❗️If your coming from an empty/new blog, please tell me where you came from.❗️

MAJOR NOTE PLS ABIDE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD:

Stop mentioning my repo to others on tiktok. I love you all, but long story short, that app is insanely public & having this public like that ruins my ability to archive these performances, ruins your ability to have them/ones in the future, and drives this theatre niche underground. So please, stop mentioning it, stop posting clips there.

Now for the public disclaimers:

Disclaimer 1: I didn't originally record the performances, and I make no profit from them while also standing firmly against making any profit whatsoever by the sharing of media I do not own.

Disclaimer 2: Don't sell these files. You can gauge why but for further explanation, read all below.

Disclaimer 3: Do NOT post edits/clips/full videos of this on TikTok, Youtube, etc- making it ENTIRELY public is how access to these types of media dies. Even if its just a clip, then Encora gets back into the public eye which has been entirely wiped once already & made it so these files were insanely hard to find for a long time. Also, its against every single social media platform's terms & conditions to post bootlegged content, which they all take seriously. I know edits are fun, I get it, but please help keep this community alive & the joy in seeing this play accessible.

Continue to post under cut↓

|𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐂𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐄𝐑|

*note: password includes brackets*

》 I don't include NFT recordings. When they expire, I will include them. If you don't know, just ask & I'm more than happy to let you know when they do.

》 The Cursed Child Repository is not only password protected, but the password & link will cycle once every day. This is to avoid the repository being entirely public. Only PM me for the password when you're able to download- but am totally still down for you to PM me anytime about inquiries regarding which performances are in the folder, as well as asking for the cycled password/link.

》 I NEED you to read the "Directory" file in the repository before downloading- mainly, the disclaimers about the recordings & the revised script transcription/translation as well as noting file sizes before you attempt to download. I tried my best to catalogue information correctly but if you find I have made a mistake, feel free to reach out.

》 Keep in mind that the entire collection is over 50 GB. This is an important note if you are downloading on low bandwith, as well as an important note regarding Mega's transfer quota. The transfer cap from Mega does cap usually under 10 GB, but that all depends on server traffic / other, so i can't really tell you what your cap would be within a 24 hr period.

》 I kindly ask that you not share these downloads in fully public folders/links, and strongly command that you not sell them. I would like to lessen the possibility of law violation as much as possible, despite the fact I wasn't the one to record any of these. This repository/its files are not meant for profit, and I strongly am against them being sold due to the fact it takes financial revenue away from rights holders like JKR, Warner Bros and Broadway Licensing/associated theatre companies. This is media archiving & making hard-to-view media accessible. That's all it is.

[metashard]

Blessings of the Machine God upon ye,

Calling all 40k cosplayers! For all of you who have skill with either an instrument or vocals, I'd like to get together a group to record a collab arrangement of *Children of the Omnissiah.* * The plan is to have each of us record our parts in costume, then stitch it together for a video. No real reason, just realized I wanted something like this to exist and was disappointed it didn't already :]

All instruments and vocal ranges are welcome, as long as you can perform in your cosplay. Dubbing over (i.e. record video in costume, record audio in normal clothes) is fine and frankly easier, as I found out while recording this snippet. All skill ranges are welcome too if you can reasonably perform visually**. Here's a copy of the cello score if you'd like to see what I'm asking for.

If you're interested***, please send me a DM here or Discord (@metashard) with your instrument/approximate vocal range and a description or picture of your cosplay. I'll then get you a link to the project server so we can coordinate. I plan to make a new arrangement once I know what instruments we have, so don't get into costume right away! Ideally, between rearranging, getting everyone to record, and editing, I expect this to be about a month before the final video is ready to release.

----

*And possibly more songs later, though I'm barely into the scheming phase on that. Let's get one thing done first, shall we?

**and frankly, if you get someone else to record audio in your place, I won't be able to tell. Just don't send me a blatant midi.

***or if you know someone else who might be interested, send them my way! I only really hang out on reddit and discord, so if you have Xitter oomfs or whatever the fuck just send them the link to this post

[klikandtuna]

“You like it?” asks Azlan softly.

“Love,” rasps Ant. “Love it. Amazing. Perfect. …You?”

“[REDACTED]. It’s absolutely stunning. What a wonderful choice, as a gift from you.”

—

Chapter 15, “Lady (You Bring Me Up)” is up! Lunch with Mom and Grampa, several important conversations, NECUMB performances, tattoos — it’s a very eventful day! (NO you can’t see the tattoo designs here, go read the chapter! 😁)

In His Hand a Burning Coal (rated E) updates EVERY Tuesday. I don’t have a final chapter count yet, but I’m ten weeks ahead with the writing!

We held an informal contest on my Discord server to guess the tattoo designs Ant and Azlan would choose for each other, and while I didn't think anyone would ACTUALLY guess...they totally did 🙌 The promised shoutouts are in the chapter Notes! (Anyone can join us in my server! We have tons of fun. You can DM me on Tumblr/Discord/BlueSky/Instagram (always klikandtuna) and ask for an invite link. 18+, please)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/61804684/chapters/158029627